Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
