Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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