So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
