drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize