I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
