I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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