I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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