Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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