That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
