hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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