Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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