I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
