you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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