Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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