He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
