Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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