Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize