I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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