The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
