he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
