we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
