i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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