Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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