Me too!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
