My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize