That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
