the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
