Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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