i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
