Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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