No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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