i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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