Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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