god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
