We won't sleep together?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
