yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize