He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
