does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
