I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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