you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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