If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize