Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize