Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
