The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
