Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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