My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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