is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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