let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
