It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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