He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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