Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
