She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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