So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
