then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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