I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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