So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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