nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
