In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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