Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
